The Year of Courage

Finding comfort in discomfort.

Think About It

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” - Brené Brown

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Like most people on the planet, every new year I create a list of intentions (the word ‘goals’ sounds too unserious for me). And in true Virgo fashion, I end the year by checking just about every item off of my list. However, a few years ago, I started to notice that every year brought a new lesson I needed to learn or a repeated action I took frequently. So, in addition to setting my intentions, I gave myself a word or theme of the year. Designating one word to guide my thoughts and actions throughout the year has been more impactful than all 20ish of the intentions I set out to achieve.

For the last two years one my words was Surrender. During that time I was navigating the uncertainty of motherhood, forced to transition out of career I loved and pushed to rediscover who I was outside of taking care of a small human. Those years kicked my ass. I needed to surrender for two years.

This year my word is Courage. Since November 2023, I’ve been working with a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner to release stored trauma and regulate my nervous system from said trauma. I’ll tell anyone who will listen that the work has been the most profound and effective healing work I’ve ever done. And since I began working with my practitioner I’ve accomplished more than I set out to. I’ve learned that I yearned to be seen and heard as a child, because I never felt like I was. I grew up during the time were Black and Brown kids were meant to be seen (but not SEEN) but not heard. So my thoughts weren’t considered and opinions weren’t valued. There was simply no time for it in my household when there were more pressing matters. Bills needed to be paid and mouths needed to be fed.

Now as an adult, I have the opportunity to give myself the gift of being heard and seen. Because truly, no one can give me that. It’s an inside job. I’m granting myself the permission to be courageous and be seen. All of me—the diligent, quirky, crazy, bold, curious, saucy sides—that I used to tuck away or curate based on who I was talking to. This life is about becoming more of who we are, not less than.

For me, being courageous means doing things that feel scary. As such, Motif will get a makeover—a new name and fresh branding. I launched the community and podcast five years ago and just as I’ve evolved, so do the things I care to write and talk about (more on this later). I obsessed over this decision for months. Afraid I’d lose the folks who’ve been with me since the beginning, afraid I’d lose their interest by focusing on different topics. Today, I’m less afraid and more excited to see how things evolve.

Here are a few other ways I’m stepping into courage this year:

• Hiring help: Since becoming a mom, my only piece of unsolicited advice to other moms has been to HIRE HELP because a good, available village is hard to come by. Now I’m taking my own advice in a different area of my life. This year, I hired a social coach to help me freshen up my online skills and give me a confidence boost to grow my platform to support my long-term goals. I shocked myself at the level vulnerability and courage the process has required but I’m grateful I’m doing it.

• Doing it anyway: This one’s simple. Do the thing you want to do scared. Just do it. Talk to your fear, make friends with it. Once you acknowledge it, you can make space for both fear and courage. Do the thing you want to do anyway.

• Affirmative prayer + meditation: My relationship with my higher power is deep! Connecting with a source greater than myself reminds me of how powerful I am. Prayer reminds me that I have everything I need. And meditation gives me insight and the vision to pull me forward.

• Community: Get you a supportive group of people who love you support you and will cheer you on. Remember, people cannot show up for you if you don’t ask them to.

💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts: What areas of your life require you to embody courage? What does waiting look like for you? Leave a comment, hit reply, or email me at info@ourmotif.co.

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Upcoming Events

Feb 8th (Los Angeles): I’m excited to be speaking at the Overcoming Asking Permission Panel. Join me and three other panelists as we share our experiences in overcoming overthinking, people-pleasing, self-doubt and more. Register for tickets here.